• Spartan Considerations

100% Amazing 2022 Advice

“Your everlasting summer

And you can see it fading fast

So you grab a piece of something

That you think is gonna last

Well, you wouldn’t even know a diamond

If you held it in your hand

The things you think are precious

I can’t understand” – Walter Becker and Donald Fagan


Q. What Maryland County comes to mind when you read these lyrics? Hint: not Kent.


Yes, I remain, as always, a herald of good tidings (or should I say, “Tydings”). Chuckling knowingly yet?


2022 is going to be an ugly election cycle in our adorable corner of the world, most likely the most rancid in living memory, and this includes both primary and general elections.


So, outside of checking out, how does one cope with the near certitude of heavily comparative campaigning? Here are three strategies, for your consideration:


Emotional detachment. My therapists tell me this approach is a bad thing, but most of them would make terrible political operatives. Support your candidates, sure. But instead of leaning into the emotions invoked/provoked by many negative communications, try dispassionate forensic analysis. What is being said? What is the context? Subtext? Why is it being said? What is the point – and purpose – of the statements in question? You can even grid this out, you know, for funsies. This helps you think through what is going on and why as opposed to embracing your immediate visceral reaction(s), which leads me to:


Doubling down. Feel your anger and allow it to give you focus, this is a quote from either Sun Tzu or Emperor Palpatine. Make your righteous rage spur you to positive action (e.g., spending more time volunteering for your candidate(s)/cause(s), donating more, thinking about creative ways to push back against counter-narratives). On the plus side, you will have less pent-up rage. On the negative side (?!), you will receive fewer party invitations.


DIY: make your own reality. String theory postulates the existence of a multiverse, where all possibilities can and will occur. So why not borrow a cup of their reality for your purposes? After all, it is, in a way, true. Your candidate has a vulnerability? Attack your opponent for possessing that same weakness. Never respond to questions, only make assertions, preferably loudly and confidently. And keep repeating them ad infinitum. Eventually, you will make yourself believe it. Remember: two + two equals five in some universe. Go with it. The 2020 election results did not fundamentally change what is, sadly, an effective strategy. Don’t kid yourself into believing otherwise.


Anyway, back to other assignments.


In solidarity.

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